Kinyarpbam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental bee.

Kinyarpbam created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinyarpbam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinyarpbam, it will think nothing of it.

Kinyarpbam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kinyarpbam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear magenta scarves.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear shirts.