Bossfagtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, generous squirrel.

Bossfagtonk created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Bossfagtonk, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bossfagtonk, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bossfagtonk's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bossfagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.