Lidsagbon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic human.

Lidsagbon created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lidsagbon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lidsagbon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lidsagbon's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Lidsagbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing magenta kilts and balancing three nickel spheres on your head.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not speak about bread.