Bassvadrow is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy scorpion.

Bassvadrow created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassvadrow, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassvadrow, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bassvadrow's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bassvadrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not take Bassvadrow's name in vain.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not commit murder.