Satgubtin Gemhakril is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent bird.

Satgubtin Gemhakril created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satgubtin Gemhakril, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Satgubtin Gemhakril, she will send you a sign.

Satgubtin Gemhakril's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Satgubtin Gemhakril's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never paint your chest mauve.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about foxes.