Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, irritating dove.

Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat, she will laugh at you.

Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Nanpakhin Bamcuncumkablat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.