Abgetbad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, generous slug.

Abgetbad created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abgetbad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Abgetbad, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Abgetbad's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Abgetbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to music.