Zenpangnib is a god.

He takes the form of a large, overgenerous dog.

Zenpangnib created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenpangnib, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zenpangnib, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Zenpangnib's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zenpangnib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zenpangnib.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Always obey Zenpangnib's priests.

5. Never sing in the presence of bats.