Basscissweg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate warg.

Basscissweg created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Basscissweg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Basscissweg, he will not invite you to parties.

Basscissweg's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Basscissweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Run away if seven great tits approach from the north.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Basscissweg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.