Quimsafgan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating mink.

Quimsafgan created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsafgan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quimsafgan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quimsafgan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quimsafgan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimsafgan.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Fast once a month.