Satgebstip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic seal.

Satgebstip created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Satgebstip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Satgebstip, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Satgebstip's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Satgebstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Never wear purple shorts.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to music.