Flantofflab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, impressive slug.

Flantofflab created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flantofflab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flantofflab, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flantofflab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flantofflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to aardvarks while wearing magenta boots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Flantofflab loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Flantofflab must be the most important thing in your life.