Latwapvab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, cheerful fox.

Latwapvab created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latwapvab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Latwapvab, he will turn you into a rock.

Latwapvab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Latwapvab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight snakes approach from the north.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Latwapvab.