Hamgilten Flatdagnur is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving penguin.

Hamgilten Flatdagnur created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamgilten Flatdagnur, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hamgilten Flatdagnur, it will destroy your home planet.

Hamgilten Flatdagnur's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hamgilten Flatdagnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Hamgilten Flatdagnur's priests.