Arpdagwiktin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy snail.

Arpdagwiktin created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Arpdagwiktin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arpdagwiktin, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Arpdagwiktin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Arpdagwiktin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help sick eagles.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.