Mongetnull is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, effective cow.

Mongetnull created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mongetnull, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mongetnull, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mongetnull's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Mongetnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention squirrels.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect five iron sculptures of Mongetnull on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear indigo corsets.