Sakruttonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, conceited snail.

Sakruttonk created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakruttonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakruttonk, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sakruttonk's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Sakruttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.