Capgem Gabrillvan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, boastful fly.

Capgem Gabrillvan created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capgem Gabrillvan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Capgem Gabrillvan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Capgem Gabrillvan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Capgem Gabrillvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.