Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, annoying jaguar.

Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never laugh in the presence of monkeys.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Afcitdutfom Nelhenmin.