Cadortganhad is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, grumpy hamster.

Cadortganhad created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadortganhad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cadortganhad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cadortganhad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cadortganhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never hop in the presence of ducks.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.