Kabquampid is a god.

She takes the form of a small, deceitful ant.

Kabquampid created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabquampid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kabquampid, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kabquampid's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kabquampid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight lead sculptures of Kabquampid on top of important buildings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about spacetime near geese while wearing violet dresses and balancing three tin spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Kabquampid loves whales, so they must be honoured.