Larnarm is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, wise fairy.

Larnarm created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnarm, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larnarm, it will turn you into a rat.

Larnarm's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Larnarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must love Larnarm.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not kill shrews.

5. Larnarm loves great tits, so they must be honoured.