Flabflamlag is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic jaguar.

Flabflamlag created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabflamlag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flabflamlag, it will boil you in a big pot.

Flabflamlag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Flabflamlag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect six iron sculptures of Flabflamlag on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.