Fosshasbast Arntikbet is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awe-inspiring walrus.

Fosshasbast Arntikbet created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosshasbast Arntikbet, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fosshasbast Arntikbet, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fosshasbast Arntikbet's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fosshasbast Arntikbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Hide from mauve mites for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your head brown.