Gessdamyok is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional deer.

Gessdamyok created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessdamyok, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gessdamyok, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gessdamyok's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gessdamyok's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.