Gardobcan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able wren.

Gardobcan created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gardobcan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gardobcan, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gardobcan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gardobcan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six birds approach from the east.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never paint your hands purple.

4. Hide from white foxes for they are unholy.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.