Guphivlun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome rhinoceros.

Guphivlun created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Guphivlun, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Guphivlun, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Guphivlun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Guphivlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white shorts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. You must never eat nuts.