Gudjadapp Lagcissgon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tiresome wren.

Gudjadapp Lagcissgon created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudjadapp Lagcissgon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gudjadapp Lagcissgon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gudjadapp Lagcissgon's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gudjadapp Lagcissgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Gudjadapp Lagcissgon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not cook food in pots.