Kinjabpin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, boastful pig.

Kinjabpin created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinjabpin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kinjabpin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Kinjabpin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kinjabpin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Always look after injured porpoises.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing blue skirts and balancing three nickel spheres on your chest.