Foblapgabquagyar is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane frog.

Foblapgabquagyar created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Foblapgabquagyar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Foblapgabquagyar, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Foblapgabquagyar's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Foblapgabquagyar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight sheep approach from the west.

2. Erect nine iron sculptures of Foblapgabquagyar on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed coconuts to snails while wearing kilts.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not make images of living things.