Nurtstafbud is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring parrot.

Nurtstafbud created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtstafbud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurtstafbud, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtstafbud's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nurtstafbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of capybaras.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never wear fawn scarves.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.