Fenlakcit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing porpoise.

Fenlakcit created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fenlakcit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fenlakcit, it will turn you into a tree.

Fenlakcit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fenlakcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Always help voles in need.

4. Fenlakcit loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.