Flatbanmid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, temperamental goat.

Flatbanmid created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Flatbanmid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flatbanmid, it will send you a sign.

Flatbanmid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Flatbanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never feed onions to hamsters while wearing magenta shorts.

5. You must pray to Flatbanmid three times a day.