Flatbanmid is a god.
It takes the form of an enormous, temperamental
goat.
Flatbanmid created humankind four million years ago.
If you believe in
Flatbanmid, it will approve.
If you do not believe in
Flatbanmid, it will send you a sign.
Flatbanmid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.
Flatbanmid's Holy Commandments1. Do not make images of living things.
2. Do not fashion models of living things.
3. Pray towards the west.
4. Never feed onions to hamsters while wearing magenta shorts.
5. You must pray to Flatbanmid three times a day.