Vedbagomt is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-assured snail.

Vedbagomt created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedbagomt, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vedbagomt, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Vedbagomt's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vedbagomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven nematodes in a large pit.

2. Never sit near ducks.

3. Never think about dark matter near dolphins while wearing green rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your feet.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.