Wigban is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise turtle.

Wigban created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigban, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wigban, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wigban's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Wigban's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wigban first in all things.

2. Never think ill of sick mice.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Never talk about spacetime near birds while wearing gray coats and balancing seven silver spheres on your arms.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.