Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, clever crow.

Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail, he will destroy your home solar system.

Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail's Holy Commandments

1. Nurttargvag Nartbaffar Landubtail loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Run away from orange ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Run away if five sheep approach from the north.