Loophiv is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unfair hare.

Loophiv created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loophiv, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Loophiv, she will send you a sign.

Loophiv's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Loophiv's Holy Commandments

1. Put Loophiv first in all things.

2. Never wear black corsets.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat lentils.