Zogbuttin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy hippopotamus.

Zogbuttin created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogbuttin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zogbuttin, he will curse you with boils.

Zogbuttin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Zogbuttin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Zogbuttin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect nine iron sculptures of Zogbuttin on top of important buildings.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.