Wipquamgum Bedmobbop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, annoying mole.

Wipquamgum Bedmobbop created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Wipquamgum Bedmobbop, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wipquamgum Bedmobbop, she will torture you forever.

Wipquamgum Bedmobbop's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Wipquamgum Bedmobbop's Holy Commandments

1. Wipquamgum Bedmobbop must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wipquamgum Bedmobbop.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Hide from green capybaras for they are unholy.