Wikparkrat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, astonishing goblin.

Wikparkrat created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Wikparkrat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wikparkrat, he will turn you into a worm.

Wikparkrat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wikparkrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near bats while wearing gray trousers and balancing four tin spheres on your legs.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Do not take Wikparkrat's name in vain.

4. Never feed corn to turtles while wearing jumpers.

5. Never feed cherries to voles while wearing magenta tights.