Dogcen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, amazing toad.

Dogcen created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogcen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dogcen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dogcen's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dogcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Dogcen loves swans, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near badgers while wearing red hats and balancing five silicon spheres on your back.