Fadtenpin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring duck.

Fadtenpin created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadtenpin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fadtenpin, it will turn you into a goat.

Fadtenpin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fadtenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Worship no other gods but Fadtenpin.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.