Sakzanren is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident duck.

Sakzanren created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakzanren, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sakzanren, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Sakzanren's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sakzanren's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing fawn scarves.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing purple tights and balancing three aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sakzanren.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.