Figgeptetti is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish wasp.

Figgeptetti created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figgeptetti, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Figgeptetti, it will cry a lot.

Figgeptetti's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Figgeptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to frogs while wearing yellow tights.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Always help manatees.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.