Femmittom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful chinchilla.

Femmittom created the Sunflower Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femmittom, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Femmittom, he will turn you into a goat.

Femmittom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Femmittom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near turtles while wearing violet hats and balancing three silicon spheres on your face.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never paint your chest fawn.