Flapditsab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic shark.

Flapditsab created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapditsab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flapditsab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flapditsab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flapditsab's Holy Commandments

1. Flapditsab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flapditsab.