Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, resourceful slug.

Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun, he will send you a sign.

Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Natkemhom Kinbellflamyarp Ponflanpadwigappdavhun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.