Yarpfudgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental capybara.

Yarpfudgum created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfudgum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpfudgum, it will turn you into a goat.

Yarpfudgum's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarpfudgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to rats while wearing pink scarves.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.