Pogkabwan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate turtle.

Pogkabwan created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogkabwan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pogkabwan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pogkabwan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pogkabwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Never jump near tapirs.

5. Hide from purple snakes for they are unholy.