Hinrigmot is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy gorilla.

Hinrigmot created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinrigmot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hinrigmot, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hinrigmot's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hinrigmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of squirrels.

2. Never wear gray skirts.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing green shirts and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not covet oxen.